Trust is something which is so rare to find among humans today. As children we were told to respect and as a natural continuation to this trusted our parents, uncles, aunts, teachers, didis (sisters), bhaiyyas (brothers), rickshaw uncle and all the neighboring uncles and aunts. Today children are being told from their cradle days to not trust anyone; neither uncles, aunts, bhaiyyas, didis and definitely not their rickshaw uncles or neighbors.
I wonder when and why did this change took place? Was my generation, born in the 60s and 70s, responsible for this or was it the change in lifestyle which we had to adapt? While we grew up in an era where fathers worked outside and mothers worked inside in perfect harmony to ensure happy living and domestic bliss; women of our generation had to work outside and inside. The nuclear family concept made it even more difficult for these women. Women had evolved and moved outside without being free from the shackles of home responsibilities and men were still caught in a time zone where their roles involved working outside. Children had to perforce fend for themselves more often than not. The bonding over teaching through stories, folk songs of right and wrong, duties and responsibilities had to be sacrificed. Where earlier children were taught values and ethics by parents through example and explanation the children of the 90’s were not so lucky. This led to children growing up not having firm value based foundations. Very often I would observe children being ticked off after they committed a mistake or behaved in a contrary manner. This was a rare scene in our childhood because these values were already instilled in us thus avoiding such actions. While we were taught to respect elders, sharing our toys and all else the millennials had no such morals imparted. They grew up selfish and demanding. While either the parents or the children could not be blamed, what happened is loss of ethics and clear distinction of right from wrong. Though parents were aware of children going up the wrong path they couldn’t manage the multiple roles in the shifting lifestyles.
Though these children are now adults with many having started families of their own, it’s important to understand that the society has to be pulled back from the path of self-destruction. For this they have to go back to the drawing board and rewrite their priorities. Sharing and togetherness should be the mantra for workload, housework, cooking, children’s homework, meals or playtime. Doing-it-together should be the norm in nuclear families. Both parents should take equal responsibility of making the home the best place to live, love and grow. Making these as fun activities helps in bonding and developing a strong foundation to a stable childhood and healthy family atmosphere.
This helps create a sense of belonging and safety for young children. Free mingling between members of the family and freedom to voice opinions and take a stand helps in growth of children into mature thinking and responsible individuals. A concerted and conscious effort should be made by both the parents to work harmoniously to bring up the children with proper values as also make them thinking individuals. Self-respect and respect for all living beings, respect for the laws of the land, respect of others dignity, respect for hard work, respect for beliefs should all be instilled to ensure that the world becomes a better place.
Parents should do domestic activities together, watch television together, discuss matters together, go out for picnics or shopping together where work, deadlines take a back seat and focus is on spending quality time together. At the same time, children should be taught to respect personal space by having own ‘me time’ for self and encourage children to inculcate hobbies where they can learn to be entertained by themselves and not need external inducements or other people. This will improve their self-worth.
My advice to the young couples who are starting out on this path is learn to prioritize and give family and personal life as much importance as professional life. For young parents I would say teach children to accept defeat and success and let them know it’s the efforts taken which is important and not the outcome.
Similar Posts
-
Superwoman even during pandemic – Sudha Nair
This pandemic has had very conflicting outcomes on our personal lives. While it brought all members
-
Vacation or extended school? – Sudha Nair
ALL seasons have their own beauty and attractions but, summer is special in more ways than one. Summ
-
Salute to our home makers – The local fellow
I was born and raised in a small village. I attended nursery, school, and college within the village
-
Does friendship still exist? – Hard Core
It was 1996, I was free from the clutches of school. Teenager-with-wings, that’s exactly how I felt,
-
The Plaint of a Homemaker – Vanalatha Reddy
Two years back, I was a working woman. As a working woman, I have always felt challenged to complete
Pranoy Gopal
Touched upon a very important and a matter of contemporary relevance. Even though we are living in this social bubble and are aware of all the wrong doings, walking through this article leads to an introspection which was indeed a necessity.
Can’t put it better. A revelation !
Keep going 👍🏻
Gaurav Chauhan
Very good article Ma’am. Definitely due to this modern lifestyle and technology, parents dont spend enough time with their kids and that needs to change. Ethics and moral values are integral part of our society which can be only taught by parents.
Priji Rajeev
Trust is a factor lost in all kind of relationships in life now a days..but the very existence of life is based on trust… Every values are based on trust… No trust, no moral values… Should induce more values to today’s generation …
Varsha Paralikar
Very good article. You have touched upon a very important topic which is going to be the foundation of our new generation. And without such strong family bonding we are going to have more and more insecure generations
Shiju Nair
Beautiful article. Things have changed so much. I still feel that a strong bonding is required in a family and this can happen only if all members can sit together when they are back home and talk to each other. Keep your mobile phones aside when all are together.
Haridas Panicker
A very well penned ideologies for every one in a family has to take care, irrespective of generation gap. Parents, of course, are responsible to inculcate their family values, faith & traditions to their children, to keep alive the same for the future generations too. Again, happiness lies in sharing, togetherness, team work, forgiving & forgetting, trusting each other in family.
The show must go on without any break.
Manjula Dubey
The importance of sharing with others and accepting others as they are, are fundamental to building up a harmonious society. The importance of social responsibilities is being disregarded slowly and more and more emphasis is given to individual rights and freedom. Very well articulated article which reflects the realities of today. What thelast paragraph says needs our utmost attention. Let’s all teach our children to accept failures
Natasha Gupta
Very well articulated Ma’am 🙂
I really agree to each of the points you have touched upon, but I also believe that how much ever a child is inculcated the good values, the world does not accept a behaviour which is truthful. There are always people who are ready to knock you down with nepotism or politics or money in every field and don’t let the people with good values move ahead in life which eventually forces people having good values to become as the world is. I have many such friends and myself facing this in my life whether it is personal or professional. Whether anyone want or don’t want, he/she eventually has to do the things unwillingly to survive in this not so human (inhuman) world. I don’t intend to counter argue your thoughts. I totally agree with what you have articulated, I am just trying to put my thoughts here
Shreya
Nice article!!
Uma
Very well articulated. A topic of great relevance in today’s scenario. 👌👍🙂
Idris
70s, 90s kids were spending most of their time with family members and elders; they were learning from them – they were learning how to behave with elders, how to behave and respect women and were not engaged with social media! Today’s generation is spending a lot of time in social media and that’s the reason they are deprived from some of the important values and characteristics.
Radhika Shashidharan
Having been told not to trust strangers and uncles and aunts in the neighborhood is an Indian culture, kids in the western culture are not told about these things I feel. They are likely to adapt the nature of people and the characteristics of humans they are born and raised in.. No culture is to be blamed. They’re all correct in their way.
Sudha Nair
Thank you everyone near and dear for your comments. It means a lot
Sudha Nair
Thanks Punam
Punam
Woww!! Values is what we were taught when we grew up..guess that is missing in the upbringing of children these days. Also, the exposure that these kids have today to media has ruined a lot of things.
But like you have rightly mentioned, the couples starting their families should enculcate these values in their children.
Nisha R
l think today’s generation ,
Gen z,has taken all these in and is on a mission to reinstall all these implied values
Sudha Nair
Thank you Nisha
Shruti Menon
Well written article, so articulate and nicely explained
RESHMA NAIR
It’s a good article,an article to different generations to think where has it gone wrong,is it the values given to children or to the values not taken by them. This is a subject for a debate though..I can write pages to this article as my viewpoint..Every person should be trustworthy and helpful ..there should not be an era where people are doubtful to ask for help or trust someone and also not an era where trusting someone leads to mishaps.
Divya Lakhwani
Very nicely written mam, such a meaningful and wonderful message!!
Chandan
Well said…
Reminds me of a quote
“Values are like fingerprints,
Nobody’s are the same but you leave ’em over everything you do”
Nirmala Raj
Very true…well written about the changes and to handle it
Arun
Well written Sudha. You have rightly said Values build a person and country. Today everyone, professional and business need it.
Videsh
Absolutely true and well written.
Lalita rajan
Well written Sudha including advice to young adults / parents , will definitely help to have better individuals for a family and society as a whole
Geena Sivanandan
Nice, great, useful write- up.
M.K. Shiva Shankaran Nair
It is a wonderful article written by you which is so true. The children should trust and believe the elders. They should also respect the elders and religiously follow their instructions and advice. The youngsters have to learn and listen to the different experiences faced by elders and accordingly decide their future decisions.
Shuba Nair
These values should not vanish.they should be reinstalled .nice article for all age groups
Sarina DSouza
Absolutely true !
Well written !
Sivadasan
Well written.
Sati Menon
Very true…..Nicely written
Shu
Wow. This was a great read.