Ragging day rewrites destiny

A page from my father’s life

All over in India, 14th November is celebrated as Children’ day. That day my grandparents welcomed their son, my father, into a typical Telugu family with traditional values. My father was a compassionate and truly good person. He was a man of great strength, grit and intelligence. Of course, not to mention, he was a highly ethical and an extraordinary man. His earthly journey is over, but he left behind a philosophy. The values that he taught continues to live within me. This one is an incident from his ragging day which rewrote his destiny.

Higher education was (and still is) given a very high priority in both Andhra and Telangana state. As a result, the state produced a large number of educated youth. Pursuing degree back in 1980s was life changing – socially, economically and financially. My father too joined a government degree college after completion of 12th grade. He narrated that his first day of college started and ended without much ado. The professors were well-trained and made the students feel at home. After a happy first day, he couldn’t wait to go back the next day.

Ragging was a very common and upcoming trend back then. It is the ritual to welcome the new comers (juniors), albeit in a way not really liked by everyone. The seniors in college would tease the juniors about their looks and manners. Then, the juniors had to do whatever they were told to, otherwise they would not be allowed to enter the college. Some were asked to sing and dance to the lyrics of vulgar songs, enact scenes from popular movies, yet others were ordered to beat other students who were complete strangers. If the juniors didn’t obey the seniors’ instructions they would be subjected to harassment in the future. Generally, the second day was considered “the ragging day”, a fact unknown to my father.

Morning dawned. My father along with his friends cheerfully went to college expecting another happy day. They had to pass the senior wing to go to their class. Some boys who were a few years older than my father were sitting in a group. They asked the boys to come over. Then they commanded the juniors to stand in a line. Suddenly smiles disappeared and was replaced with fear. My father expressed his emotions clearly on his face, reflecting anger and resentment. As the seniors noticed that, they decided to have some extra fun. They commanded him to ask the name of a girl student passing by and cut her hair and get it back. Embarrassment gushed within him and then it turned to rage. They were asking my father to defy all forms of decency. A girl’s hair is something that she treasures. My father knew that if he did as asked, it would leave a permanent scar on the girl’s mind, and he did not want to be a part of it. So without having second thoughts, he picked up his books and ran out of college. He kept running for almost 22 kilometers. He didn’t look back until he reached his father’s paddy fields.

It was the worst nightmare of his life. Fear, shame, and resentment started flooding. He didn’t go home, he could not go home. He could not think about facing his father. What would he tell his father? He had no clue what he was supposed to do.  Without food and water, he hid in the fields for a day, his heart pounding in the night. The next day with a heavy heart he went home. He narrated to my grandfather the events of the previous day. My grandfather tried telling him to ignore the situation and return to college. Scolding, beating, nothing worked. My father stood his ground, and refused to go back. He knew if he went back, he would have to face his seniors again and this time it would be worse. He made a decision that impacted his life but kept his values. He took up farming and helped my grandfather with it.

My father had not only inherited the moral values taught but also practiced it. He was able to differentiate between the right and wrong, although he lost the chance to get a degree!

How many of us today would be able to make a decision like that? Are we able to uphold those kinds of values? I, as a youth of today’s generation, find myself questioning the values that are missing in our lives. As of today, we use the best, modern, up-to-date technologies but we have forgotten to instill values amongst ourselves. 

Can we with small gestures and actions, try to change the world that we live in?