When can we love again, in freedom?

Many years ago, I had read the book ´Love Story´ by Eric Segal. It had left an indelible mark on my heart. Words remained:

“What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died?”

“Can love be measured by the hours in a day?”

“Love means, never having to say sorry”.

Jenny (from the book) had found a place in my depths. Corona virus-induced lock down gave me another chance to watch the movie again. It touched me. Further gems I garnered:

“I was afraid of being rejected, yes. I was also afraid of being accepted for the wrong reasons.”

“My father warned me not to violate the Eleventh Commandment”, Jenny says. “Which one is that?” he asks. “Do not bullshit thy father”, she said.

Oh the joy of falling in love, living in love and dying in love!

I feel sad for the Indian youth (mostly in rural India). Most of them cannot love freely as they have bigots with daggers hovering over them. They will ask them their religion, caste, class, place and if the bigot’s don´t approve, they will kill the young lover’s right there and then. Even parents do! Such a shocking reality to give birth and to take it away too. What compulsion and force we commit just to stay in a society which cannot accept the ground reality of decision made by individuals.

On April 14, 2019 the BBC reported a typical story, that of Rabindra and Shilpaba who ran away from their villages and to seek asylum in city for the fear of losing their lives. The sin they committed- A Dalit loved a high caste woman. (I do hope they are still alive.)

The movie Sairat (Marathi language) depicts a similar story. A “classic love story” and a “story of impossible love“ as the director puts it. Everyone one who watched it had been moved by it. But if we were moved then are we ready for a change in our decision and acceptance to our youth? If we look at our history there were so many non-Muslim women who got married to the rulers of the Qutub Shahi dynasty in the 16th century. They got the goodness of both religion together and lived peacefully and happily. We do see that urban India finds more acceptance than rural India. This might be due to education, access to appropriate information, and knowing how to be tolerant and living without bias. We have to understand that allowing inter-caste marriages will not weaken our rituals and values. Instead we will be strengthening our societies by eventually eradicating the caste system in effect purifying our society.

Will Indians (especially rural areas) ever wake up and allow their youth to love and be loved? Or will they continue in the slumber under the guise of religion and caste? A society that does not allow their youth to fall in love, grow in love and die ripe in love, is a brutal society. But then, isn’t India already One?

Can we be a change in allowing our children to fall in love without letting caste/religion decide compatibility and companionship? Are we ready to be really secular and progressive in our thoughts?