Can we accept the differences?

Recently, I was in a discussion with one of my senior colleagues about the reopening of offices as part of COVID unlock (presumably after the vaccine is out by mid-2021). Most of the IT employees have been unaffected in terms of job security and continue to get a steady income despite the pandemic. Instead, during this phase jobs which could not be done from home were also executed from home.

Most of the IT companies turned to Work from Home (WFH). Some of the companies have let go of their office spaces as they plan to operate with WFH mode on an experimental basis. With discussions on the vaccines advancing, few IT companies plan to return to work from office (WFO) mode. It was during this time that I was having a one-to-one discussion with a colleague who was collecting employee feedback on starting WFO. The first part of the discussion was related to productivity and deliverables being affected under WFH mode. The next question was preference on WFH, WFO, or a mix of both. My instant response was WFH without a second thought. My colleague was surprised and questioned “Why is that? Don’t you want to meet your office friends? Don’t you miss the lunch and tea with teammates, team dinners, et al.?” By nature, this colleague is an extrovert, an outgoing person with a large friends circle in the office. He clearly seemed to have suffocated in the current WFH environment.

On the other hand, I am an average performer, and working itself is a struggle for me. My struggle begins every Monday morning from getting ready to commuting, meeting, and talking with people. Now with WFH, I am happy and comfortable. I complete all my assigned tasks within a home environment at a comfortable pace. Along with this, I also get more time for myself. I have often ruminated that if I had a study-from-home option during school and college then I would have opted for that.

Now that I remember, a constant feedback from my school teachers used to be, “He is good at studies, but he is very silent”. And I would silently ask myself, “Was being quiet such a wrong thing and whether I should turn violent!” Why were my teachers so concerned about my talking skills when the primary objective of the school is academics which I was managing decently? I was part of a small group of friends and participated in group activities during youth festivals and annual days. Still, the teachers would say, “You should be more social”. Encouraging students to talk more, interact, give a presentation, socialize are all wonderful things a teacher or school can do. However, forcing introverted students to speak more without trying to understand their character has a negative impact on the student’s behavior. Someone rightly said don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree or don’t judge a book by its cover.

I am not a person who loves to move out, meet new people, and socialize. Of course, we are all social animals, that’s part of our existence. However, I feel tired of socializing with a group of unknown people whom I am not comfortable with. Attending a distant relative’s wedding is still one of the toughest tasks for me. Now that I revealed this, would you think of me as anti-social? Well, I am not anti-social. It’s just that I prefer the company of people with who I am comfortable. I socialize in my own way.

I have come across some relatives at a social gathering ask “Beta, why are you so silent? Speak something. Are you shy? Are you scared? Why do you look angry? Why can’t you laugh? Are you anti-social?” As a result, I would feel more uncomfortable, to be precise – tongue-tied. Contrary to my situation, I have never asked anyone, “Why do you talk so much, can you be silent?” Questioning a person about their color/creed/weight/height is considered rude. Similarly, asking an introverted person ‘why they are silent’ is the worst way to start a conversation.

Extroverts and introverts are the two extreme ends of the character spectrum. Most of us lie in this spectrum. Extroverts may feel tired and frustrated being confined to homes. Some people are worried about when will shopping malls, theatres, tourist spots, churches reopen. These are struggles you face in the ‘new normal’ conditions and the struggles I faced in the ‘normal’ condition. I am also disappointed, but there is a level of comfort, peace, and happiness that people like me are experiencing with WFH and physical distancing from public places. I don’t think I should go to the office to maintain the relations, I can still call or meet my friends. There are endless possibilities to stay connected.

Understanding each other’s differences and accepting them are important in the evolution of human society. On that note, I do hope that the good days are coming soon and everything becomes normal.