Confused gratefulness when train is late or early?

Have you ever felt a confused gratefulness? I mean one place you are grateful and then in reverse you are ungrateful. Let me tell you an incident I went through. Travelling home every weekend was a blessing, with good food, sleep, parents, nephews and relatives. Sundays usually made me lazy just with the thought of going back from this place of bliss. One such weekend I had to leave home on a Sunday afternoon to reach back to my place of work around 160 km away. My friends were having a get together and I had to make it there by evening. I got onto the state transport bus at 2:45 pm to reach the railway station 10 km away. My train was scheduled at 3:00 pm. I knew that the 3:00 pm train was the last one and I had to make it to the party. The tension within me started exploding. In moments like these, like every other person, I too turned “extra” religious. As a matter of fact I felt as though I was the only religious person in the world. God therefore had to answer my prayers right away. I kept pleading, “Please God, one last time help me reach on time, next time I will start early”. Prayers, deep breaths and checking ‘Where is my train’ app every 30 seconds. My prayers changed as the train seemed to be closer to the station I had to board. I asked for a miracle and strongly believed that God will somehow delay the train.

The driver of the bus overtook other vehicles by confidently encroaching into the opposite track. At times even forcing the drivers coming in the opposite direction to move out of the way. My ears were filled with all the native people cussing on top of their lungs. I prided myself with being native of state with 100% literacy, the-first-state-in-India to achieve it. Interestingly if the people here used such cuss words what was the situation elsewhere! I could hear the native people cussing in the colloquial language. A earful of words!

I too would have done the same if I was driving another vehicle and this bus driver would overtake me. If you’ve driven through the narrow bendy roads of Kerala you could easily relate to what I was saying. However today I was extremely empathetic towards the bus driver that he had to listen to all the people cursing. Annoyed, I thought, can’t these people mind their business instead of voicing their opinions. My arrival was just 3 minutes before the train’s arrival time. Hugging the driver literally, I thanked him for his merciless driving. Now I had to put on my Usain bolt shoes and make a dash for the station. I aimed for a speed of 20 km/hour as that was my track record 5 years back. My body however seemed to think otherwise: “How do you expect me to run like an athlete one fine day after spending 10 hours on the office chair and the rest of the time in bed?” I remembered how correct Jesus was in saying ‘The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!’ Assuring my body of better care I made a run for the platform and caught the running train. The train being delayed by 10 minutes was the miracle. I was sweating and struggling for breath. However the cool breeze hit my face and I felt like the happiest man in the world.

After I settled down I recollected the umpteen times the ‘intellectual me’ had criticized Indian railways for being slow. But today I was shamelessly thanking them. I had expressed my sincere gratitude to the rude bus driver and non-punctual Indian railway for enabling me to be a part of this journey.

A couple of stations passed by and the train started getting delayed furthermore. Now the ‘grateful me’ started murmuring about how irresponsible the Indian railway was to continue with the delay as now I was getting late. This was my state of confused gratefulness. What a pun! Did any of you go through something similar state of confused gratefulness?