Covid, I and Aftereffects

Covid!! Oh, it’s gone! Things are returning to normalcy, aren’t they? Yes, in fact that is what was happening all around the country since Jan 2021. The New Year brought hope and yes, respite! Students started looking forward to joining their institutions after almost a year and there was general happiness in the air that continued for about three months. And then it struck, struck with vengeance as if holding us accountable for letting go of the FEAR. It came back with ferocity this time to create more terror than fear!

Yes, we all had let our guard down; but it’s only human! After all, people had seen respite after almost one whole year of restrictions. In that unguarded moment, I caught the infection. Oh! Me? I am strong, well-read and aware and call-myself-educated! And yet I met a group of known people, all of us living in a “confined safe zone”. In our exuberance, we had forgotten all about Covid— well, everyone around had, and we were no different! Two days after meeting with friends, I took my first jab- the vaccine-Covishield. For those two days, I kept wondering if I should go ahead with the vaccine; No, not because I did not trust the vaccine, but because somewhere in the corner of my brain the thought of exposure had started circulating. That eerie thought kept nagging me for two whole days. Anyways, I put aside the negativity and went ahead with the vaccination. I resumed my daily routines and the next day morning I even went for a power walk – a good 10 kms. After all, I had been cycling regularly and was fit and healthy, with Strava and my Smart-watch giving me a feedback that I had quite a strong Heart- Lung machine!

The very next day, I had fever which I assumed was a reaction to the vaccine. After all I had read somewhere that those with good immunity develop a reaction so I was relieved. As a matter of fact, pleased at the way my body was functioning. However, the third day, when my son complained of fever, I was alarmed and got all of us tested. There it was, I had Covid!

OK, accepted, I better start listening to the signals my sixth sense is sending. Now what next? One would have to take lots of fluids, ample rest, take paracetamol for fever and eventually it would be fine, leaving one with weakness, from what I had heard till then. After all, it was a new normal; the Covid fever would subside and one would develop antibodies, which was good news.  Well, on the sixth day I developed a cough, which seemed normal. With medicines, it would go away, rather it has to! But then, by the ninth day, every bout of cough started leaving me a little breathless.

After ten days the situation took a serious turn when Oxygen levels started dropping drastically and I had to be rushed to the hospital. The oxygen dependency turned out to be a great thought-provoking experience. Surprisingly, while I was waiting for an oxygen bed, which was about three to four hours, I was concentrating only on every breath. The next four days of continuous oxygen dependency was a little scary. Every time I had to walk up to the washroom and back, the oxygen level would drop. The fact got me wondering if I could ever be able to breathe freely again. A simple act of breathing, which my body had been working on without an effort 24* 7 for the past fifty years without a break remained in my thoughts constantly.

The hospital stay proved to be quite an education; it was a study on human behavior. The hospital was hit by a storm of influx of Covid patients, something that every hospital in the country was unprepared for. Initially, I stayed in the general ward, for almost two days, with three other patients. Bed on my left was occupied by a 34-year old young mom who was 32 weeks pregnant with her second baby. Her calm, serene disposition gave all of us strength. The two of us it seemed were in dire need of oxygen.

My neighbor on the other side was an elderly lady, around 68 years old, who would sit around most of the times, chatting with her neighbor, another lady, a homeopathic doctor, around 57, who again seemed full of energy. I was rather perplexed at seeing those two and wondering when would I be able to sit and talk without the oxygen mask. The homeopath, to my utter dismay would give us two young women a sermon every morning on how important Pranayama is, and how we should be going out and sitting under some tree that she had found in the courtyard, and get some fresh air!

Even though I wanted to shout at her, I had no choice but to keep quiet. But then to my horror, she started acting like a news reporter filling us with all kinds of crazy news that one wants to keep at bay especially during such times. The young mom-to-be and I would communicate through expressions, most of which conveyed our desperation and exasperation; so, most of the times we started pretending to be asleep during the daily news reports. After two days these two women were healthy and were given the discharge slips but they just refused to leave.

For once, I was furious at the doctors acting like perfect gentlemen explaining to them why they mustn’t occupy oxygen beds!!! If I had the strength, I would be more than willing to evict them.  On the third day I was shifted to another ward, and my new neighbor was an eye surgeon. She was fiery, ever ready to help, highly independent, energetic or rather more of an aggressive personality. It kept me wondering if her characteristics was a side effect of Covid! However the next four days we spent together made me realize that it was inbuilt. We would exchange notes and encourage each-other to stay off oxygen.

On the sixth day, an old lady about 67 years old joined us. And she changed our lives. The lady had suffered a complete electrolyte imbalance owing to diarrhoea and Covid. The next two days was a nightmare. Our new friend acted crazy, she kept jumping out of the bed, falling, losing balance, and running away. The two of us, were busy keeping a watch on her, calling the attendants, helping her back in the bed. In the process, it was us, gasping for breath, whereas our old friend was merrily hopping around with her oxygen level constant at 99. She was a constant amusement, asking for tea at odd times, wanting to take a bath twice a day, asking us to switch on the geyser and get it repaired. At times she would sneak out, saying she had some physiotherapy sessions to attend. Ultimately, the nurses had no alternative but to tie her hands to the bed to prevent her from getting injured. Gradually after a day or two, our aunty ji settled. I was watching ‘Notting Hill’ on Amazon Prime, and our old lady could identify every scene, every dialogue. I was pleasantly taken aback by how romantic, gentle and sharp she was.

Coming back to my Covid story, after four days, I was encouraged to try staying off the oxygen mask for short intervals of 30 minutes and breathe. Gradually, the time increased. After a few days of trials and conscious effort, I gained confidence to step out of the room and finally trust my lungs again!

Two days of reflection at home made me realize how fortunate I had been to have received adequate medical care in time. And for the first time I realized the importance of conscious breathing, something which our age-old philosophy has been guiding us to concentrate on! Pranayama, which almost every Indian is aware of, but might not be following, has today become the most   important regime of my life. Yoga, advocated thousands of years ago is the only kinds that can keep our internal organs and hormones in balance. Initial ten days at home after hospitalization, I was full of energy. Though I had lost muscle mass, I was happy to see the weighing scale showing 6 kg lesser! Well, the bloody virus did something good finally.

I started following a regime, resumed my online work and was generally in a state of bliss. When suddenly on the tenth day, after the steroid dose got over, the withdrawal hit me! I felt like a deflated balloon, completely sapped out. The effect lasted for five- six days and gradually my body again adjusted to the new normal.

Yes, the virus has taken its toll but the body is resilient and like lungs, will have to be pushed back to work again. It might happen gradually, but it will! The most important aftereffect that I carry is that of gratitude. There is also a strange awareness of positivity and strength, which one gets after any such experience; if it does not kill you, it makes you stronger.

With the mutations, variants and the way this virus is striking day after day with even more ferocity is unnerving and heart wrenching. But then, the whole ordeal reminds me of yet another important lesson that has been ingrained into us Indians, since childhood, ‘Whatever has to happen will happen ultimately; till then, we must continue to give our best!’