Democracy and Religion

As a kid I grew up in a multi-cultural society and among people belonging to different castes, creed, and religions in a Maharashtrian city. In a way, I am glad to have known and understood the diversity, which is a unique feature to Democratic India. Another important fact of my life was how my father who was an Army personnel choose to live in many cities. I guess I owe it to him for choosing this city.

While I reminiscence at school, my best friend was a Kannada-speaking Hindu. Under the guise of study, I would visit her home purely to enjoy the Kannadiga cuisine. Her mom served us hot food as we sat on the floor and ate. Since I grew up eating on the table this was a whole new experience. She visited the temple daily and I accompanied her. When I entered the temple, I never felt uncomfortable removing my sandals or covering my head with a duppatta. While my friend finished her prayers, I thoroughly enjoyed the sculptures, engineering and the serene atmosphere of these beautiful temple.

College was a different mix of people altogether, from school. There were Muslim and Hindu professors. My friends were Christians, Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs. They spoke Malayalam, Marathi, Punjabi, Gujarati and Hindi among others. In addition, there were friends from different castes groups, including Maratha, Backward, and Brahmin.

I celebrated Diwali with my Hindu friends and those who didn’t practice the faith were welcomed without any difference of opinion. The vegetarian food served was tasty, and we enjoyed the sweets (pharsaan as it was called). As a group we built the traditional Killa or fort and decorated it. Likewise, rangoli was a joint affair too. What a colorful, fun experience!

As friends we celebrated Gudi Padwa with equal fervor. This harvest festival was celebrated by hoisting the gudi (pot), this was part of our responsibility. The specialty of this festival was puran poli. You could easily eat three of them, and your stomach would be full, but you still felt like eating another one.

I remember playing Holi once with Gulal (pink powdered color) in my friend’s house. It started small and ended with the house in a mess. When her parents returned, we were outrightly asked to clean up. Sure, we cleaned…albeit not perfectly. Gulal as we realized was easy to apply but difficult to take off.

My graduation and post-graduation days were spent in a Muslim minority led college. So, it was not unusual to see more of our Muslim friends covering their heads with duppatta during Azan (Muslim call for prayer). This did not seem odd to us but made us feel the reverence for the Almighty. Quite a few of our friends wore burqas and some wore hijab. Others wore jeans and tops and others salwar kameez.

Ramzan feasting (Iftaar parties) was looked forward by all of us friends. We would begin with dates and finish with puddings. The thought of the kebabs and other kinds of meat dishes still make me drool. Eid was eagerly anticipated. We marked the end of their fasting with a very simple and delicious sewaiyan. In consideration of our vegetarian friends, we were served vegetarian food along with the biryani. We learned how to wish Eid Mubarak properly by hugging three times, first to the right, then to the left, then to the right again.

Another friend of mine was from a backward and economically poor family. The cakes and sweets she made, the rangolis she made at my home for Christmas, and her paintings and songs were all highly cherished. I was inspired by her simplicity and hardworking nature. On her birthday, we went to her house for lunch. The healthiest and tastiest meals were served by her mother. While her mother ran a vegetable store, her father drove an auto rickshaw. None of these mattered to us as friends. We all still loved each other just as much, class did not matter.

A Gujarati friend of mine lived in a joint family. Despite having to take care of 11 members of their family, her mother and aunty welcomed us. Phulka’s (roti) were served hot off the gas stove. Aunty would serve them with a smile, and I would eat so many that I thought I would burst. My friend had older cousins; we were naturally invited for their weddings. We would help the family with all the preparations. Her relatives knew all of us well. All of us non-gujarati non-hindu friends were treated without any disdain.

During Gurunanak Jayanti, we joined a Punjabi friend for prayers and langar. The sight of people from all social classes sharing a meal without any issues was amazing. A great deal of humility was evident. In gurudwaras, we always cover our heads. We followed this rule without question. This was not done by force, but out of respect for our friend’s religion. Our friend’s birthday was celebrated with traditional Punjabi food. The bunch of us were welcomed there too without much thought to our ethnicity.

Christmas meant all my friends would be with me and my family for the midnight Mass. Most of them would be sleeping throughout the church service, but still joined me. Together we made the crib and decorated the house. Next day, my mother cooked traditional Kerala style breakfast and lunch. Since my friends did not like Kerala rice, mom made pulav with regular rice. My vegetarian friends never had a problem with us eating meat at the same table. And we did respect their choices to be vegetarian.

Yes, I had friends belonging to other religions, and yes, I was aware of their religion. Nevertheless, this did not separate us; rather, it made us realize just how unique we are. It taught us to respect one another and remain united. The puran poli’s, the biryanis, matar paneer with roti, and the sewaiyan’s are favorites with my family. I owe this diversity in cuisine to my friends.

Each of my friends taught me different values and different cultures. Despite diverse religions, castes and creeds, I learned inclusiveness. New cultures and principles were introduced to me. I became empathetic and tolerant. They exposed me to simple food delicacies from different parts of India. We all learned to blend into each other’s cultures and to share in each other’s joys. Despite our different traditional attires and cultures, they taught me that we are all Indians and, more importantly, humans.

Today, however, we are forced to view religion in a rigid and strange way. The attire of one religion is questioned, whereas other attires are accepted without question. This bias will cause more and more damage to the secular fabric of our country. The world’s largest democratic country is under threat and is heading towards doom. Unless we as citizens stand up for the rights of each other there is no redemption. Can we be more tolerant and empathetic to each other?